Slut Walk – Join me!
Published in the June 2011 issue of Exotic Magazine:
Slut: a pejorative term for a person (usually female) who is more sexually promiscuous than is socially acceptable.
Sometimes when I’m reading definitions, I feel like I’m in the middle of one of those “find the differences” puzzles in the newspaper. There are so many hidden clues. In the above definition, there are at least two: “Socially acceptable,” and “female.” I’m not arguing the validity of this definition; it’s a sad truth that this is how promiscuous women are viewed by the general population, a.k.a. the “society” which “accepts” the level of promiscuity a female is allowed. It is also true that men are still held to a different standard than women, and we still shun and demean women for the same behaviors (real or imagined) that we applaud their male counterparts for. And while this makes me angry, what makes it dangerous is when the people who are responsible for the safety of women feel this way.
On January 24th, 2011, a police officer from the Toronto Police Department stated: “Women should avoid dressing like sluts in order not to be victimized.”
Read it again. Sit with it a minute. Look for the clues. We have a tendency to downplay words, to shift blame, to absolve people based on context, to look for any excuse for him not to have meant it in that way; partly because he’s male, partly because he’s a cop. But if we remove the pardons and translate it in a pragmatic light, what this cop said is, “Men rape women because of how they dress.” This is a problem, for several reasons.
The people of Toronto thought so too, and decided to do something about it; with that, Slut Walk was born. As is usually the case, the cop’s comment was merely a spark, but it ignited an inferno. Slut Walk is a movement intended to increase dialogue on victim-blaming, slut-shaming, and misogynist and oppressive ideas that need to be challenged – and they’ve taken it to the streets. On April 3, 2011, approximately 3,500 people, dressed in their sluttiest attire, marched right to the front door of the Toronto Police Department where they took a stand, demanded an audience, and spoke out loud and clear that they were tired of the lip service and empty apologies.
Their website states, “We are a movement demanding that our voices be heard. We are here to call foul on our Police Force and demand change. We want Toronto Police Services to take serious steps to regain our trust. We want to feel that we will be respected and protected should we ever need them, but more importantly be certain that those charged with our safety have a true understanding of what it is to be a survivor of sexual assault — slut or otherwise.”
It’s necessary to stop placing the blame on the victim and taking all responsibility off the attacker. Dressing provocatively has nothing to do with sexual promiscuity, but more importantly, sexual promiscuity has everything to do with permission. I am a self-proclaimed slut. The word has lost all negative connotations for me, because I don’t hold the same values as the society that places a limit on the level of pleasure I am allowed to have. To me, the word is representative of freedom, of ultimate control over my body and my choices. If I choose to sleep with 100 men, it in no way affects the likelihood of me sleeping with the next 100 men I meet, rapists included. I don’t care if I rollerskate down the street naked with a big target on my asshole; If I don’t say yes, the answer is NO. Victims need to know that they are never to blame, without exception.
His statement also discredits men (for purposes of this article, “rapist” is going to be male; I’m fully aware that women rape as well). A rapist is a sick individual. He is by no means representative of all men, and the cop saying that men rape women based on how they dress doesn’t give recognition to the mental or emotional state of rapists. Rape isn’t just a case of men gone wild. Men should be equally as offended by the cop’s statement as women are, as it implies that men have no control over their own bodies, that they are so weak-minded and out of control that they are incapable of managing their urges when presented with the basic function of a hard-on.
It’s especially unfortunate that it was a cop who said this. Police officers are supposed to be looked to for protection and help in times of crisis. As it stands, 60% of sexual assaults go unreported to the police (http://www.rainn.org/statistics), and with misogynistic cops taking such liberties with words it’s no surprise. Assholes like this say damaging things all the time, but he is a representative of a collective; he is in a position of power. While we know the entire Toronto police force doesn’t echo this one man’s opinion, the fact that he’s still employed there places them in the “Against us” category.
Since Slut Walk’s original march, their message has spread like wildfire, with almost a hundred Slut Walks being implemented worldwide, including Portland on June 11th and Seattle on June 19th. Whether you’re a bonafide slut, a slut supporter, or just play one on TV – male, female, or otherwise; family, friends, clergy members – if you want to support the re-appropriation of the word slut to those who should define it, come to this event. Besides the awesomeness of dressing as slutty as possible in public, I’m excited to take part in something meaningful, something that needs to be said.
Plus, you might see me roller-skating around with a giant bulls-eye on my asshole, and who wants to miss that?
For more info or to find out more about your city’s walk, visit http://www.slutwalktoronto.com/
I adore you! This is an amazing representation of how rape is treated especially in our country. We talk about this a lot in Anthropology. To state that the male is somehow powerless over his own actions because of a miniskirt leave us to think that all males are brainless slaves to our sexual urges. This takes the responsibility away form us and makes us look like fools. We are an species given free will over our actions, are we not?
I wish men would understand that blaming a woman in these cases is an insult to men as well. We are not brainless slabs of hormonal meat and any man not offended by the notion of such should have his head checked.